weekly meet ups

today is the 3rd friday since i last got my pink ic. the first night was spent alone after an afternoon at sentosa with my fellow colleagues from pool office. the original plan of having drinks with a few other friends were cancelled. last week, matthew wei xuan and myself had dinner at a place near smu and we proceeded to changing appetites for desserts. there were long periods of silence and even deciding on venues and what to do proved to be challenging. it wasn't really one of the best meet ups that we've had over the past few months. tonight, i had assumed that we were going to have dinner with the usual people. i was working OT and was about to call heng qing when he came online. in the end, dinner was cancelled since we lacked ideas and there wasn't really a keen interest in having it together.

dinner on friday night has always been something meaningful and joyous. it marks the end of the week and the beginning of weekends. we book out and can start looking for people to enjoy the weekend with. what has originally started as a chance to mark out where to host friendlies has slowly degenerated into something that is fast losing its appeal. it's weird but in the past when book out timings were late or when the guys spend friday nights in camp they were sorely missed. now when we are given the chance to meet for a few hours, it seems that there isn't really a need for it anymore.

hasn't it always been a case of how much you want it? if you desire it, you have the hunger for it, nothing can stop you from getting it. if you dread it,you can come up with a thousand and one excuses and you too will achieve what you had in mind, and that's not to be in sync with the original plan. that said, i believe that it wouldn't be long before weekly friday meetings will gradually be reduced to something that is monthly..quaterly..bi-annually..before fading away. haven't we seen enough of such scenarios. we don't even have a common topic to begin with. yes. i do agree that in between a pair of good friends, whatever is exchanged during silent moments transcends that of what is spoken. but if you have nth to say to a person, and you don't feel at ease with your moments? how do you define such a relationship?

i'm no longer feel the passion that runs through me whenever i kick about every sunday morning. i'm easily out ran easily out thought easily out muscled and lose the ball on almost occasion. all i can say is i'm no longer the player i once was and i don't know what has resulted in it. my aggression has been curbed to prevent incurring the wrath of others. by doing so i'm playing a very restraint game and it's just not me. my physical fitness and also deteriorated. i don't think i need to go into details on this. anyway i can't help but feel that it is only a matter of time before friday nights and sunday soccer will be a thing of the past....