i made a mental note when you told me the date.
i would leave it free.
i will be there.
as the day approaches,
hesistation and doubt crept in whether it was wise to be there;
of course there were many things that you did or did not do that i couldn't understand towards the end.
we had always question things, and found solutions to them.
but i was left clueless and dumbfounded most of the times as the date drew nearer and nearer.
back then i couldn't have find the answers to your actions.
that was then.
now, everything seems to be crystal clear.
and i do wonder if there are any others who were like me before.
deep down, i know there are. to the people who i matter to.
that day arrived, sooner than later.
i was let off the hook when i knew that circumstances forbade me to be there.
you came towards where i was.
and i returned to where you had left.
we skipped that topic.
we avoided that day.
things didn't seem to change much since the last time we met.
i'm glad we are still in contact.
very much so.
as if this time warp didn't existed.
i never told you before.
but i find ourselves so similiar at times.

the sour taste, tears swelling in the eyes.
you start to wonder if you have made the right deision.
but you still walk through the gates all the same.
boarding the plane.
towards the sky.
knowing selfish-ness preceeds selfless-ness.
knowing that it's best for all parties involved.
for the good for everyone. anyone.
nobody said leaving would be this simple and easy.
but nobody said saying goodbye
would be this difficult and complicated either.