old me.

when i was a kid..i didn't care how others viewed me..

whether actions of mine inconvenienced others..

or if i said things that might be uncomfortable to other parties..

in the past..i would jump up and down in shopping malls..

spoke loudly irregardless of what others may say or think..

be that little kid that run in trains..up and down escalators..

and play football with a water bottle in hdb void decks..

i didn't knew what changed me..but one day..

the activities stopped..

i started became self conscious of my actions..my words..

on the buses i stay clear of topics that i don't want others to hear..

in meals at the restaurant..there's this lingering thought about others eavesdropping on my conversation..

the only chance of me going ballistic in the public area would be if there's no one around..

i am always very envious of people who just do their own things have their own say..

ignore what others think of them..and just be the way they are..

to do that i got to convince myself that

myself is more important than anybody else..

that it doesn't matter if i look stupid..

that what they think of me is not going to matter..

that the person at the next table is not going to cross path with my life again..

that i only get to live my life once..

that i am young only once..

that it's only the people who i with that are important..

be the way i wanna be..

and live the way i wanna live.

cheers.