disenchanted.

there was this exclusive group that i really thought of having. but now i'm not sure if exclusivity is a good thing or not. it's true. many things in hall have change. i really wish i could subscribe to a group of friends that all do know each other, be there for each other. but it's a really tall order, because everybody all have their own groups of friends', work/school life to balance, and relationship to handle. contentment contentment.

today, i attended an event and there were mixed emotions throughout. i realised there's this heavy burden in me. and i really do want to talk to it to somebody. somebody who wouldn't judge. it's weird to be getting comments about how good you are. how a person you are but deep down you know they are only seeing one side of you. i think i need a new perspective on a old issue. who has this maturity to handle and lift this heavy load off me?

PS: i'm not directing the first part of the entry at delpus or 1348.5 in particular, you guys have been great, it was just a feeling that i had at some point of time in hall the last sem.